iOn the Contrary-i Befriending Barbie

I’m not a particularly passionate person. Oh sure, I haveinterests. I’minterested in cooking. I’m interested in hiking. But I’m not what you’dcall a fanatic. I don’t tape the Food Network, nor do I intend to hike all 54of Colorado’s 14,000-foot mountain peaks so I can brag about my conquests atdinner parties. Fact is, I find fanaticism strange.

I once attended a slide show given by an avid rock collector who describedvarious pieces in her collection as “droolers” and “show-offs.” Afteradvancing to a slide of a rock with sparkling purple crystals, the collectorslumped in her chair. “Ohhhh,” she said. “This one could win a pageant.”Afterward, I invited friends to stone me to death if I ever got like that.

But lately, I’ve been interested in people with passions. I want to knowwhat drives the urge to, say, collect Roman coins, or trace the family historyback to Charlemagne, or tie flies for hours on end in some dank basementworkshop.

In a quest to find out where this kind of passion comes from, I recentlyattended the 22nd annual National Barbie Doll Collectors Convention–a place I’dnormally not be caught dead at–where a thousand men and women from all overthe world had gathered for four days of doll shopping, workshops, and socialevents. My first meeting was with Debbie Baker, convention co-chair, who has3,000 Barbies in her personal collection.

“So tell me,” I asked, “what is it about Barbie that makes you sopassionate?”

Debbie tapped her long pink fingernails on the table and gazed into thedistance. “Those of us who love Barbie light up whenever we see anything to dowith her,” she explained. “We love the dolls. We love the clothes. And pink.We really, really love pink.”

Believing that such a consuming passion had to be based on more than a color,I talked with other collectors.

I spoke with Brenda Blanchard, a retired schoolteacher from Carson,California. “I like Barbie because she doesn’t talk back,” she noted.

I chatted with George Marmalejo, a veterinarian from Hayward, California, whoenjoys the sense of community that comes with being a Barbie aficionado. “Whereelse can I be surrounded by 1,000 people who don’t think I’m nuts when Ispend $100 on doll clothes?” Conventioneers also told me about pajama partiesin the hotel rooms where guests bring their favorite dolls and sip strawberrymargaritas.

I heard about a fashion show in which 50 lucky people got to sashay down therunway wearing their favorite Barbie outfits.

I was invited to a competition in which people entered treasured pieces oftheir collections in an effort to earn prize ribbons. The rules of the contestwere stiff. A doll dressed in “Sparkle Squares,” for instance, would not bejudged against “Jump into Lace.”

I took all this in with the detached amusement of an outsider. Then I talkedto Judy Stegner, a 43-year-old collector and single mother from Fort Worth,Texas, who told me how she had met her Barbie friends. In the process, sheforever changed my opinion of doll collectors.

“It was Thanksgiving night in 1998, and my son said: ‘Mom, there’sprobably a chat room where you can talk with other Barbie people.’ I looked athim like he was crazy. I mean, I didn’t know anything about the Internet orchat rooms. He had to do everything. He found a site, logged me on, even gave memy screen name. I was online talking to Barbie people until two in the morning.I’ve met great people on the Internet. I never could have made it withoutthem.”

I asked Judy what she meant and learned that just 10 months after her17-year-old son introduced her to the Barbie chat room, he was killed in thehighly publicized shooting at Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth. He was heronly child.

Upon hearing about the shooting, her online Barbie friends coalesced into a full-time, round-the-clock, on-callsupport team. They sent her money. They sent care packages every day. Theyraised thousands of dollars for a tuition-assistance fund that Judy establishedin her son’s name. They contacted Mattel, which sent Judy a special Barbiecollectible and a handwritten note on the first Christmas after her son’sdeath.

“Let me show you something,” Judy said, jumping to her feet. She grabbedher tote bag, pulled out a quilt, and unfolded it on the cushioned bench infront of us. The quilt, which was made to honor her son’s life, featured 18hand-sewn panels contributed by her Internet friends. Judy used to have thequilt hanging on a wall, but now she curls up with it while watching televisionor reading a book.

“Barbie people everywhere are really giving,” Judy explained, teary eyed.

“Why do you think that’s the case?” I asked.

Judy said it’s because Barbie dolls are about having fun, and when you’rehaving fun you’re not stressed and can naturally be more giving. “We allhave things that make life hard,” she said. “Anything that allows us to playis a good thing, and I don’t know why people are so critical of Barbiesometimes. I tell you what: that’s something our group never allows. Beingcritical, I mean.”

“Do you sit down and play with your dolls?” I asked.

“It’s total therapy for me to play,” she admitted. “After my sondied, I could lose myself for hours.”

It’s been six weeks since I attended the Barbie convention, and I’ve beenthinking about Judy Stegner ever since–not only because her story was sopowerful, but also because she shed some warm, glowing light on a world that hadbeen completely foreign to me. And because it was so foreign, I’d criticizedit. Barbie??? I thought before the conference. These people should get a life.What I learned is that Barbie collectors do have lives–rich and supportiveones at that.

Although the conference did teach me about passion–Barbie passion–it alsotaught me something more, and that is to not be so quick to judge others who dothings that I find odd. This doesn’t mean I plan to invest in doll clothes,mind you, but I’m certainly not as likely to criticize people who do.

Workforce, September 2002, pp. 22-24 — Subscribe Now!

Other columns byShari:

• The Remodel Role Model
• Musing Her Way Through Life
• Not Just Another Fish Story
• Creativity 101
• Whiners Need Not Apply