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The Dumbest Questions Employees Have Asked

By Allan Halcrow

Jun. 1, 1998

A couple of you allowed that “there are no dumb questions,” but many of you were more than happy to volunteer some of the doozies that have been put to you. We have to agree—most of them are pretty dumb. Here are some favorites—and some thoughts on how we might respond to them:


  1. Does sexual harassment really happen? Yes, but only in the White House.
  2. Will I be fired if I get caught taking money? Yes.
    What if I offer to put it back? We’ll take it.
  3. Why can’t we hire young, good-looking women? Because they’ve all refused to work with you.
  4. Why can’t I have a blind employee work with chemicals? Hmmm let me see .
  5. Do I have to turn on the computer every time I want to use it? No, only when you want to save the work you’ve done.
  6. Do we close for Lent? Yes, for all 40 days.
  7. Do I have to go to the mandatory meeting? Only if you want the mandatory paycheck.
  8. How do I apply for a job in another company? Let me just get that application form for you.
  9. What if I keep missing and can’t pee in the little cup? Can I take the drug test another time? Yes, as soon as you’re sober.
  10. Is my job hard? Yes, almost as hard as breathing.

Workforce, June 1998, Vol. 77, No. 6, p. 90.


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