Time & Attendance
By Jon Hyman
Dec. 11, 2014
The Christmas season is upon us, which means that the elves are hard at work deep inside the confines of the North Pole’s buildings preparing gifts to load onto Santa’s sleight for his Yuletide trip around the globe. Pop culture, such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Elf, portrays Santa’s workshop as a happy, jolly place, where the elves gleefully craft toys all hours of the day and night, with not even a whisper of discontent.
Someone (or, more accurately, some elf), has squealed.
The North Pole Employee Handbook: A Guide to Policies, Rules, Regulations and Daily Operations for the Worker at North Pole Industries was allegedly found in “the vast confines of a Newark warehouse used to store elf clothing for Christmas displays.” It appears that all is not candy and carols at the North Pole.
Other topics covered include the dental plan (administered by Herbie), how to participate in reindeer games, and what the 12 days of Christmas mean to you. Needless to say, Santa does not appear to be one to be trifled with. Then again, if he knows when all of the world’s kids have been naughty or nice, it stands to reason that he keeps a pretty tight grip on his employees. And, if you think Santa is a pain, the handbook makes it clear that the HR Director, Mrs. Claus, goes without physical attention from Santa during peak production times and can get a tad prickly as a result.
If you’re looking for a good holiday gift for that special HR person in your life, I strongly recommend The North Pole Employee Handbook.
Also, don’t forget after January 1 to take a look at your own employee handbook, to determine if any policies need to be updated or added.
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